The "Growing" Trend

I had an epiphany this past weekend. For a change, my other half and I went out to dinner and then on to a local dance club/bar.

Now...I am not young anymore. So, I thought that I would feel a bit out of place in there. I was right, but not for the reasons that you are thinking.

I only weigh 120 lbs.

I say "only" because THAT is my perspective.

I entered this club and looked around. Do you know what I saw? It was horrifying.

EVERY female in that club was AT LEAST 50 lbs overweight. I was stunned.

Now, I look around at people all day long...and i have noticed a "growing" trend. (pun intended) People are freakin FAT!

Now I know that isn't "pc" and all....but I don't care.

Let me tell you about my evening. Upon entering the club, I walked up to the bar to buy 2 drinks. (mine was Pepsi..hahaah...so I am sober when making these observations, thank you)

Two gargantuan women approached the bar from my left. I felt like i was on a safari.....or a picnic...not sure which. I say that because one was EASILY 300 lbs, and she was wearing a black and red checkered...um....shirt? I dunno what you would call it...but on her, it looked like a table cloth draped over a picnic table. The other 350lb behemouth was wearing a shiny floral printed shirt that crisscrossed over the fat bags that some may refer to as breasts that HUNG off of the front of her. Good thing she has those too, because it was the ONLY way to tell which side is the front. Her back went straight into her ass...just rolls upon rolls of blubbering fat.

Does all of this sound cruel? Too bad.

These two creatures ordered 3 drinks each. The drinks were full of sweet syrupy goop, and NEITHER of them tipped the bartender. (apparently the change is for the dollar menu at Mcdonalds). The first one had one drink consumed before she got back to her table...that was BTW, 15 feet from the bar. HEAVEN FORBID they walk further than THAT.

The other sow guzzled down two drinks before she was able to cram her fat ass into a chair suitable for a rhino.

They were both wearing some kind of stretchy material capri pants under thier tablecloths.

All I could think was how the hell their feet supported that weight...and why the hell they thought that all of that makeup would help. I mean really....does blush and concealer REALLY hide that fourth chin???? NO!

I thought that this was an isolated incident...gagged...and proceded to the dance floor area. OMG! They were not alone.

I became concerned for two reasons...one being the support system under the floor..and the other was the vision that I had of me being roasted over a spit because they didn't serve food.

So, I learned that it takes somewhere between 20 and 30 small drinks with a lot of syrup to get cattle drunk.

The men who entered this club looked like someone had just stolen their favorite toy. They walked in, looked around....seemed confused...then went to the bar.....lather, rinse, repeat.

The looks of disappointment, confusion, and deperation were both pitiful, and HILARIOUS!

I am SO tired of hearing that "fat" is a disability, and that they have a "thyroid problem". Give me a freakin break. These hogs can make it to the bar...dance( or whatever that was), smear their faces with layers of makeup, and they APPARENTLY are able to make it to the grocery store.

How is that a disability????

There are some clothing styles that should not even EXIST in a size XL or larger.

Let me help you...I will list them

1. ANYTHING containing "Lycra" or "Spandex". FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING UNHOLY....PLEASE spare my delicate retinas with that shit!

2. Anything that crisscrosses in the front OR back and ties in the middle. Holy hell....you aren't hiding ANYTHING by making the "waistline" out of a thin piece of string tied somewhere between rolls one and twelve.

3. NO SEQUINS OR GLITTER! Jesus jumped up f***...I feel like staring in on a chorus of "Saturday night fever" when I see A round shape sparkling under a strobe light.

4. Thongs. enough said.

5. ok ladies...the tattoo that is located just above your ass crack...you know the one...it is refered to as a "tramp stamp". I have to tell you that on your fat ass...it is a "hog banner".....and it isn't going to help in any way shape or form.

6. mini skirts....ESPECIALLY ones made of lightweight material....now listen to me....I don't want to see that...I MEAN IT! When your legs are so fat that the shape from your hips to your feet resembles the shape of an hourglass.....we don't wanna see it. How do your knees even hold together under that kind of pressure? You are also allowing the scent to escape...if you know what I mean.

7. cordouroy. OMG...are you trying to start a fire???? swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.....ugh...like fingernails on a chalkboard (I am changing that saying to "like cordouroy on a fat girl)

8. fishnets. yeah, I know..this one is easy.....SOMEONE CUT HER LOOSE AND THROW HER BACK ALREADY!

9. anything patterned with checkerboard, florals, and stripes....please I don't want to have a picnic, walk through a VAST meadow OR sleep in a tent....ok?

10. spaghetti straps. OK you can't even call them that when they are more like "fat floss"....let me explain....the strap disappears in gthe shoulder fat...UGH...gross.

The sad thing here folks, is that most of these women were in their twenties. How much have they shortened their lives...and how many excuses do we need to make for our irresponsible lifestyles??? You are NOT disabled...you are fat....and disgusting, sloppy, smelly and repulsive.

Yeah, I know..."Oh how mean".

WRONG! If you eat yourself into oblivion, it was your choice...and I will say what I like...just like the fat chick can tell me to eat more because I am too skinny.

Get up off of your fat ass and MOVE! Then try eating less in one day than the Dallas Cowboy football team....maybe then you can breath without sounding like every breath is your last.

We need to stop coddling everyone's damn self esteem...and say it like it is.

We are lazy, fat, and irresponsible.

There are NOT that many "thyroid disorders".

sorry...not buying it.

eat less....move your ass....and the LAST thing you need is a license plate that allows you to park CLOSER to the damn grocery store...if it were up to me, you would have to walk from home.