Balloon Heads

FORT COLLINS, Colo. – A Colorado sheriff said he was pursuing criminal charges in the case of a 6-year-old boy who vanished into the rafters of his garage while the world thought he was zooming through the sky in a flying saucer-like helium balloon.
The boy's parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met with Larimer County investigators for much of the afternoon, but Sheriff Jim Alderden didn't say who would be charged or what the charges would be.
Alderden didn't call Thursday's hours-long drama a hoax, but he expressed disappointment that he couldn't level more serious charges in the incident, which sent police and the military scrambling to save young Falcon Heene as millions of worried television viewers watched.
"We were looking at Class 3 misdemeanor, which hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances," Alderden said. "We are talking to the district attorney, federal officials to see if perhaps there aren't additional federal charges that are appropriate in this circumstance."
He said deputies were seeking a search warrant for the family's home, and there would be more information at a news conference Sunday.
After the sheriff went inside, Richard Heene and his wife walked out. As reporters yelled questions, all Heene said was, "I was talking to the sheriff's department just now." He then walked to his car with his wife and a friend, and they drove away.
The Heenes were expected to speak to reporters outside their home later Saturday, after a strange day that began with Richard Heene knocking on the windows of journalists camped outside his home and promising a "big announcement." A few hours later, he did an about-face when he told reporters that they should leave questions in a cardboard box on the front doorstep.
As Heene walked away, a reporter shouted, "Can you tell us once and for all if this is a hoax?"
"Absolutely no hoax. I want your questions in the box," Heene said, waving a cardboard container before going back into his home. A circus-like atmosphere formed outside, including men holding signs and occasionally yelling "balloon boy." One sign read, "Put balloon boy on TV: America's Most Wanted."
Other gawkers carried aluminum-foil stovetop popcorn makers that resembled the silvery balloon launched from the family's backyard Thursday, with 6-year-old Falcon Heene believed to be onboard.
While Richard and Mayumi Heene were at the sheriff's office, the couple's three sons remained home, apparently being watched by sheriff's officials. Authorities wouldn't comment on what was happening.
Alderden had said that he wanted to re-interview the family after Falcon turned to his dad during a CNN interview and said "you said we did this for a show" when asked why he didn't come out of his hiding place. Then Falcon got sick during two separate TV interviews when asked why he hid.
The balloon was supposed to be tethered to the ground when it lifted off, and no one was supposed to be aboard. A video of the launch shows the family counting down in unison, "3, 2, 1," before Richard Heene pulls a cord, setting the balloon into the air.
"Whoa!" one of the boys exclaims. Then his father says in disbelief, "Oh, my God!" He then says to someone, "You didn't put the (expletive) tether down!" and he kicks the wood frame that had held the balloon.
Falcon's brother said he saw him inside the compartment before it took off and that's why they thought he was in there when it launched. Heene said he had yelled at Falcon before the launch for getting inside.
Alderden said earlier that he thinks it's likely that Falcon ran off because he was scared of getting in trouble, later falling asleep in his hiding spot. He said he doubted that such a hyperactive boy could be ordered to stay quiet for the five hours he was missing.
Over the years, Richard Heene has worked as a storm chaser, a handyman and contractor, and an aspiring reality-TV star.
He and his family appeared on the ABC reality show "Wife Swap," and the show's producer said it had a show in development with the Heenes but the deal is now off. TLC also said Heene had pitched a reality show to the network months ago, but it passed on the offer.
Despite his attempts to get on TV, Heene insisted Saturday that he didn't know what kinds of questions were being asked about him because he didn't have cable.
"I'm going to place the box out front. Please write your questions down, because friends are telling me they're saying this and that. I have no idea what the news is saying," Heene said.

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I guess that since this stupid crap won't die, I will comment. Where do I begin with this one? Can you say, ATTENTION WHORES???? Let us look at the facts here. This "father of the year" and, apparently mute wife, have attempted on several occasions to get their moment in the national spotlight via "reality TV." Well, I have to tell you, this is about as unreal as it gets. I would LOVE to know what this moron pitched as his idea for his "reality show".....

"Hey, uh....I have an idear. Y'all can come here to Colorada, and bring them thar movie cameras. I got me a big Jiffy Pop thingy, and I was fixin on launchin my yungun up in it. What y'all think?"

That balloon is not the only thing full of hot air. The concept of a mother and father having a "final countdown" to launch, but yet NOT doing a headcount of their children, is well, insulting to anyone with an IQ over 75. Let me get this straight. This idiot prepares to launch the balloon. He KNOWS that his son is ,apparently, proned to climbing aboard. Then he procedes to swear at his other son for not tethering the stupid balloon. I just read that again, and the song from Munchkin Land ran through my head. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" Coincidentally, the "missing child" just HAPPENS to be alseep in the rafters. Huh? Is he Anne Frank for god's sake?

This, unfortunately is not the funniest (by funny, I mean disgusting) part of this sideshow. There are people ACTUALLY camped outside of his house, and their only purpose there is to mock this family with Jiffy Pop. Come on, that's just a LITTLE funny. What I wonder is, where do these groups of people come from? This can't be the way that these "onlookers" form together...

"Hey Bill, what are you doing today?"

"Oh Jed, I was just gonna mow the lawn, then I was headin' over to that "balloon boy's" house with some Jiffy Pop. You wanna come? It should be a real hoot and holler!"

"Hell yeah, Bill! I will make me some signs that say "balloon boy"., and maybe we can get on TV too!"

"Aight Jed, see ya there! Bring the yunguns, they can fetch the beer!"

I shudder to think of any other possibility.

Come to think of it, I wish that I had made the trip, myself! I can tell you why. I would LOVE to see the questions that the media representatives put in the cardboard box on the front "stoop". I would have turned it into a "suggestion box". My first suggestion? Don't breed again. Thank you. That is all I have to say.

This is not worth further attention. Thank you for wasting the last 3 minutes of your life that you will never get back.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_re_us/us_boy_in_balloon