FOOTBALL ANNOUNCERS!!!!!!

I am watching the Super Bowl, and what do I hear???
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCERS!!!!!!

Ok, the qualifications of this job are? here are my guesses...
– you must be able to drone on endlessly without catching your breath....
– all the while being very deft at not tripping over the ramblings of the shmuck next to you....
– you must be able to interject conjured excitement, even though you really could not give a
damn who wins...
– you must be able to ALMOST pronounce the player's last names...
BUT this one is my favorite...
– YOU MUST HAVE A GIFT FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS...

for example...
“look at that Jim, it looks like the ball slipped out, and caused an accidental fumble!!!!”... ummm, is there any other kind?

“Well, here's what they are gonna wanna do here, either move the football up the middle, or along the sides...”
really? not backwards... you sure?

“Ok, it looks like they are going to do one of two things, either pass the football down the field, or hand it off...”
you sure they don't want to just hold it?

“Now, what the defense wants to do here, is stop forward momentum...”
hence the term DEFENSE......geesh

“One of these two teams will be the winner....” WOW!

“Now their goal here, is to continue to move the chains forward...”
ok, even they know this one is stupid, so they try to hide it with chains, and not BALL!

“He's gonna wanna get into the endzone on this next play....”
after all, that IS how you get the most points... right?

“They are gonna want to get good field position on this kickoff return...”
hey, you don't know that, maybe they like a challenge

“they are really going to need to limit the amount of penalties in this game...”
again...obvious self explanatory terminology here

“he's gonna want to make sure he kicks that ball through the uprights, here...”
seriously?...it's not just a performance, void of point value?

Ok...so...hold on...I heard this one... just now.
“oh, he's going to regret throwing that interception there...”

HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!! GO STEELERS!!!!!