With every passing day, I grow more and more concerned about the next generation. Not because of the usual reasons like pollution, employment or education. The reason runs much deeper than that. I fear that we are creating a generation of chemically dependent drones and sociopaths. We send the message everyday to our children to “just say no” to drugs and then we place their Ritalin next to their bowl of Frosted Flakes. I wonder what kind of message we are sending to our children. Why is it acceptable to have our children addicted to drugs just because they come in a brown bottle from a pharmacy? We put so much blind faith in our doctors and pharmacists that I rarely see a parent question their motives.
Is it not our duty and our obligation to question anything that our children consume? Wake up people, just because something is created in a lab and put in an “official package” does not mean that it is safe, or necessary. Do I need to remind you that crystal Meth is also made in a lab? That’s right, those horrible drug dealers are just as smart and skilled as that nice man in the white coat at the pharmacy, in many cases even more so.
So, now let’s look at motives. Why would a trusted physician give you something that could harm or kill your child? Well firstly, because you asked him for it. Did it ever occur to some of you that when your child is misbehaving or acting “abnormally” that your child does not need to be medicated, but that you might require parenting classes? Next let’s go back to that horrible drug dealer. Why does he make and distribute crystal Meth? That’s right, money. The almighty dollar rules all. Let me ask you this, are those medications that you pump into your child every day free? Are they provided at no cost to you, and to anyone who needs them for the betterment of our society? No, of course not. They cost money, and quite a bit of it especially if you are uninsured. Now ask yourself who profits from the sale of these drugs. Is it the doctors? Yes, they profit a little. But who really profits? Very good, you are right it is the pharmaceutical industry. In other words, people who have never met, spoken to, or cared about your child are profiting from the sale of those drugs. Do you realize who the doctors rely on to provide them with the information about the drugs that they are prescribing? They rely on the pharmaceutical industry themselves along with the FDA. I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust big business and the government to know what is best for my children. We need to stop viewing mood altering prescription drugs as a necessity and begin viewing them for what they are, a consumer product.
Why would the pharmaceutical industry bypass those trusted doctors, and advertise to the masses? Everyone has seen the commercials. Now, you come home from a long day of work, and the kids are driving you crazy, one child needs money for a class field trip, another child has forgotten her homework at school, and your spouse is stuck in traffic. Then your cell phone rings, and it is work related. There is a problem at the office and you spend an hour trying to help them fix it. You have just a small amount of money in your checking account and it is still three more days until payday. I don’t know about you, but I have had days like this myself. You just know that any minute the phone is going to ring, and it will be your mother reminding you of how you don’t visit often enough. You finally sit down after fighting your youngest child into bed, for the third time, because all he wants to do is spin around in circles until he gets dizzy and falls down. You turn the TV on and, there it is. There is a woman or man approximately your age, sitting quietly and looking forlorn. A soothing voice asks you if you feel sad and stressed often. You say to the TV, “Yes”, as tears of frustration roll down your cheeks. Right at that moment, your youngest child comes down the steps to tell you a completely random story that just could not wait until tomorrow.
Stop, take a deep breath. You do not need that medication so that you can be as happy as that person in the commercial was after consuming their advertized product. You need a day off. Some time alone with some good music, and for goodness sake when your mother calls, let the voicemail pick it up! Now let’s talk about those kids. Are they driving you crazy? Do they forget their homework and daydream in class? Do they get all wound up and run around doing flips over the sofa and running into walls? Do you tell them something and five minutes later they have completely forgotten what you have said? Do they throw tantrums for a variety of reasons? If you answered “yes” to any or all of the above, congratulations you have normal, moody, funny, determined children that require consistency, love and discipline. If you answered “no” to all of those questions, you are either the luckiest parent alive, or your child is over-medicated.
It is tough in today’s world to earn a living while raising children. Our family units have changed and become more complex. These two factors have given this generation of parents new challenges that, at times, seem to be impossible to overcome. Is medication the answer? How many times throughout our medical history have we seen a change and an awareness of what was once deemed “good” realized to be very bad? Vaccines, procedures, implants, medications with deadly side-effects and medications with just plain deadly effects. Is your child about to become a historical statistic? Think about this, all of those things that I just mentioned were approved by the FDA and sold by doctors and pharmacists. So, are you willing to become part of the next class action lawsuit, on behalf of your child?
I hear parents talk about how they struggle to save for their child’s education or to help them purchase their first vehicle. I have never heard a parent say that they are struggling to save for their child’s stay in a drug rehabilitation center. I know parents who have, however, used their child’s college savings to pay for their stay in a drug rehabilitation center. I will share a story with you to illustrate my point.
I had a very dear friend for seventeen years. I was a young teen when I began babysitting for her. They treated me as one of the family. It became more of a family environment than a job for me. She is the mother of four children, one boy and three girls. She was an incredible mother when the children were young. This was the family that created the desire in me to have a family and children of my own. At the time that I babysat for her, she had just two girls and one boy. The third girl came along later in life.
I received a phone call from her approximately a decade ago. She was terribly upset. She had been feeling down and lonely for quite a while, so she made an appointment with a psychiatrist. He “interpreted” a dream for her that caused her even more pain and suffering. Her husband was a workaholic and was rarely home to help with the children or the day to day household tasks. She left that office that day with a prescription for whatever the “magic pill’ of the time was.
From that day forward, my friend began to disappear. The woman that had once laughed and smiled at the silly things that her children would say and do, was now eerily calm and robotic. I became very concerned when a woman who had been an atheist her entire life joined a local non denominational church. She became obsessed with it. She was attending therapy weekly and church even more often than she was participating in her children’s education. She was also sleeping away quite a bit of the time that she was at home.
The person that I had once known had become someone else. She was giving thousands of dollars to the church. This was a woman who had once vowed never to step foot into one. I supported her the best way that I knew how, by keeping my opinion of her new found faith to myself. I have always believed that no matter your faith, or lack thereof, you are entitled to it without judgement from others. This was simply another symptom of the person that I knew disappearing.
Following a few years of this behavior, I reached a point where I had to speak up. That point came when she decided that her children needed to be medicated, as well. I had spent almost as much time with these children as she had, at this point. They were incredible kids. They were bright, happy, intelligent and full of life. She took them to a pediatrician that I had abandoned due to his “loose” prescription pad. He placed all three of them on Ritalin, at her request. She then began to take them to therapy, which the children vehemently resisted. I could not believe what I saw happening to this woman and family that I had adored for so long. I began to question her, and she told me that she was pregnant again. I became concerned because I knew that she was taking a Molotov cocktail of drugs, therapy and church. She ceased taking the medications, and spent most of her pregnancy in bed, and very unhappy. Thankfully, the baby was born healthy, and is another amazing kid.
The greatest focus of her obsession with altering her children was placed on her son. I will never forget the day that she called me and was out of her mind with panic. Her son was running across the room and flopping on the sofa over and over again. I started laughing and asked her what the problem was. She became convinced that the child was desperately in need of more medication. I became angry with her, and told her what I thought of her behavior. She did not speak to me for quite a while after that.
I would like to update you on the status of those children who are now in their late teens and early twenties. The oldest girl recently dropped out of college after two years. She is a beautiful and intelligent young woman who will find her way someday. The second girl, well, she likes to date drug addicts that are several years her senior, and has some issues with promiscuity. The boy is better now. After he was caught huffing gasoline from the family minivan, and drank himself to the point of alcohol poisoning many times, and repeated abuse of the prescription pills that his mother kept in the house for herself, he attended a rehab program, and seems to be doing better. The youngest girl was never medicated. She is a star athlete and a wonderful student, at least that is what her sister tells me. You see, I do not have my friend anymore. We have not spoken for years, yet I love her still.
I could share dozens of similar stories. I am sure that every person reading this knows of someone who has struggled with prescription pill abuse. So I have to ask you, why would we give them to our children without absolute necessity, or to save their lives? I don’t know the answer to that. I do know that, as a mother, if there were a magic pill to give me some peace and quiet in my house and reassurance that my child would be absolutely perfect, would I give it to them? NO! I choose to use a different method. I use patience, love, communication and discipline. So to all of the parents or soon to be parents who are reading this, I want you to think about something. I want you to say the word “drugs” to yourself. Then I want you to write down what was the first image that came to mind. Was it a joint? What is crack? What was it? Then I want you to think about what the side effects list would be for the use of those drugs. Imagine them just the way you would read them on that annoying piece of paper that is folded a million times in the box of “legal” medication. Then go read the side effects from the pills that we pump into our children. Which is worse? Marijuana has been called a “potential gateway drug”. Ritalin has been confirmed as one.
Moms and Dads, keep putting the “just say no” bumper stickers on your minivan. Continue to proudly display your D.A.R.E license plates. Just don’t forget to give the kids a hug after you give them their pills at night. Remember, everything in your home is deadly to an addicted child, including the very fuel that powers your minivan.
-Roberta Heart
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