What can I say?
I am so damn angry
angry at today
scared by tomorrow
Why does this have to happen?
Why YOU?
I wonder why the god
that belongs to all others
doesn't step in
and bring one to his side
by sparing you.

But then why would he?
if he even is
he would listen to me?
I doubt it.
So anger stirs for the hopeful
resentment for those who will not know
and those who blindly say..PRAY.
I would rather cry
and be angry.
That is real.
You are real.
and nature has struck again
with pain and suffering.
If I could make it stop
I would.

But all I can offer is a tear
a sob, and rage.
what good will that do.
none.
so I swallow them whole,
smile.
and wait.

for you.
to say it will be ok
or goodbye.
either way, I know you.
the pleasure is mine,
and the gift eternal
as are you.

Given a Choice

How many lashings
How much anguish
before the collapsing
inevitable vanquish

One holds the course steady
using the pain as as her flight
for those who are ready
to follow the night

The darkness conceals the wounds that are there
allowing the path to take a new turn
the peaceful embrace when heart is aware
with every new cut, a lesson is learned.

To lash out in anger, holds no relief
to love and be kind
binds all her grief
pain becomes peace, then heals her mind

a lifetime of bearing pain from the start
can become toxic infection
it can callous the heart
or become resurrection

given a choice between pain and malaise
her choice will be clear
through the choking gray haze
life's lessons appear.

She Ponders the Why

Through the warm blinding tears
she ponders the why
through all of her years
so much time has gone by

Never before
has one so in touch
ever walked through the door
and touched her so much

His honor is real
His words from within
how can she conceal
what she really is

A scared little girl
with all good intentions
her heart in a whirl
it spins with his mention

The suffering of her life
That made her today
such pain and such strife
continues to stay

He gives HER the credit
for HIS very deed
She will never forget it
his heart is her greed

She wants to say thank you
but the words are so listless
they can't seem to do
what her heart needs to witness

He sees so much more than any would try
she still wonders how
Can he see me cry?
She ponders the thought, can he see me now?

She Stole Back Her Heart

My incredible journey
when will come to an end
in the spirit of learning
your hearts I will mend

A mother so young
A father addicted
my life was begun
so early afflicted.

The weight was too steady
her health failed her first
he found another already
still...not the worst.

her babies are taken
sold to another
a death in the making
sister and brother

I do not belong
they don't look like me
my heart knows it's wrong
I want to be free

Where is she now
how can this be?
I will survive this somehow
they won't destroy me.

Their efforts are great
the beatings are often
striking with hate
one away from a coffin

Somehow, she survives
the ending is near
she will leave there alive
the last lonely tear.

Freedom awaits
she will see them once more
open the gates
let her walk through the door.

oh, what was she thinking
she expected so much
he was still drinking
and she lost her touch..

the caress of a mother
had left long ago
taken by another
blow after blow....

She holds him so close
this is her father
her empty heart knows
don't even bother

He's slipping away
one drink at a time
she begs him to stay
he's commited a crime

He has taken his life
he took it from me.
the call cuts like a knife
she drops to her knees...

She has waited so long
endured so much pain
it all felt so wrong
there was nothing to gain.

The room was so black
for what seemed like forever
she clawed her way back
she pulled it together

a new life beginning
she grew it inside
a battle worth winning
the moment he cried.

I saw in his face
my father's delight
such beauty and grace
came from one night.

My world changed that day
my son saved my life
in so many ways
he pulled out the knife.

Now there are three
each life was a moment
given to me
in repair for my torment

This person you know
was not always here
she had to grow
with each wasted tear.

To survive being beaten and raped
to be able to heal
and leave a prison of hate
she had to steal.

From the eyes of a child
she stole back her heart
a spirit gone wild
was back at the start.

The memories will stay
the tears still continue flow
but this is today
and yesterday, is not tomorrow.

There is pain in our lives
we all must endure
If I can survive
you can, I'm sure.

Forever I'll wonder

It's all over
he's gone
never to be seen
I knew all along

The day he was born
the face
was forlorn
the face with two arms

they started to move
counting the days
one step at a time
slow ticking that says
time's up when I chime.

Each tick was his pain
every sweep wiped a tear
please stop it he begged
time and again
days and weeks then a year

He waits for the chime
but the ticks seem to slow
the agony of time
continues to grow

He can't hear the ticks
at night when he sleeps
sleep brings him some peace
the secret he keeps

The hands are now still
frozen in slumber
that was his will
why.....

Forever I'll wonder.

A Father's Love

We live in a world that has been shattered by greed
The tiny hands of a child outreached and always in need
A child knows nothing of the struggles we face
They know only the comfort of a loved ones's embrace.

So many of our children never know of those moments
alone, hungry, and cold..they wait alone in their torment.
No mother, no father, just adults living free
forgetting the future is their child in need.

So easy it is to become self absorbed
when all we can hear, is what we've been told
Only the brave will dare to speak out
to protect their child, and raise questions of doubt.

Our view of a father is a towering man.
Who brings home a check, rarely lending a hand.
So many young men are raised with this image
passed from father to son, corrupting our lineage.

Now today we face worse, men who just run away
leaving their child, duty abandoned, only to play.
In abundance we see them, day in, and day out
Their children alone, even love raises doubt.

But in the face of all the struggle and growing despair
there are those men who fight to protect, and always be there.
They raise their children to be strong men and women
through their strength and their love, a gift has been given.

that gift is bestowed, not just on their child,
It is a gift to the world, through a young smile.
For that smile is bred from knowledge and love
A father's gift to the world, is rising above.

A man's strength is not measured by how much he can lift
but in the weight he can carry, and not go adrift.
When he puts down the phone, and reschedules a meeting
Just to be at the game, or the door with a greeting.

The child never knows the sacrifice he has made
Not until they are grown, and places they trade.
He becomes not just "dad", but a man to be honored
When through the eyes of their child, now he is the father.

No place more revered than in such position
Debts are repaid in ways not dreamed to fruition
but through actions of love, and pure dedication
such a man is deserving of all admiration.

--Roberta Heart